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the joy project

How to silence your inner critic in 3 steps

The Joy Project

Unlock more joy today

Mel Robbins shares her tried-and-true method to silencing negative self-talk with Ulta Beauty associates and guests everywhere.

We, the Ulta Beauty team (yes, all 50,000 of us!), are teaming up with the incredible best-selling author, motivational speaker, and award-winning podcast host Mel Robbins to take on The Joy Project. Our mission? To make the beauty world and beyond a much more joyful place. To start, we’re focused on silencing the inner critic—the number one obstacle to joy—with Mel’s brilliant, science-backed approach. She calls this method “The Three Is,” because you 1. Identify your inner critic, 2. Interrupt the pattern and 3. Inspire yourself and others to #joyforward. Here’s how it works.

Step 1: Identify.

Become an observer and take note when your inner critic is doing its thing. Start looking out for it. Ask yourself, “am I holding myself back? Am I coming up with an excuse? Am I speaking to myself the way I would speak to a friend?” Identify that it’s happening, so that you can interrupt it.

Step 2: Interrupt.

Say “not today!” to that nasty voice—literally. Visualize your inner critic. Name it. (Let’s use “Jane” as an example.) Then talk to it. You can say, “Jane, shut it. I’m not going to listen to this. I’m going to a new workout class, and you're not coming with me.” It may sound silly, but it works. You are separating yourself from the inner critic and replacing its voice with a much more inspiring voice: Your own.

Step 3: Inspire.

Tell yourself something inspiring. Make it super realistic and believable. If it's not something that feels truthful or attainable to you right now, it won’t work. For example, you can say, “even if this workout class is challenging, I’ll be so proud that I showed up.” Or simply, “I deserve to feel good about myself.” You’ll know you nailed this step when you feel a sense of relief. Repeat as needed.

As Mel says, “when we silence our inner critic, we open ourselves up to more joy. And we all deserve to feel more joy.” And we at Ulta Beauty couldn’t agree more. That’s why she’s training ALL of us associates to master this technique. We hear negative self-talk like “I hate my skin,” or “I can’t rock a red lip,” and, “I could never pull that off.” But we know you can. We don’t see what the negative self-talk sees. We see your beautiful, radiant, unique self—full of possibilities. And now, we’ll be equipped to help you start to see that too.

For more on silencing the inner critic and creating a joyful life, follow Ulta Beauty on social media. Let’s #joyforward together.